Egg, Bacon and Spam; Egg, Bacon, Sausage and Spam

Spam.
We all get it. So why am I posting about it?
Well, this is probably a pretty futile post as the intended group are most likely to not even read this.

I get spam email every day in my ABU inbox and let me say there are a lot of people around who seem to think that by blindly firing off messages and links to random bloggers will somehow generate interest.
It won't. Of course it won't.
Think about who your intended audience is. Nine times out of ten I am not that audience. I have enough going on in my stupidly busy life to stop and listen to whatever crap you've managed to spew into your computer's hard drive and pass off as entertainment.
Do you know me? Do you know what my blog represents? You've actually annoyed me and have pushed all my 'angry' buttons because of your ignorance in sending me something which if you had done the plainest bit of research would have told you that this is not what ABU is about.

Now usually I just click delete and move on when I see any spam mail trying to sell their wonderful music but sometimes I will actually give in and have a listen just to reaffirm my belief that this really is a waste of time.
And sometimes I will review it.
Well, why not? They've taken the trouble to search me out and send me their stuff so why not do what they ask?
I feel it's long overdue a good old roasting so sometime in the not too distant future I shall pick one email at random and give it a thorough listen and thus report back to all you good people, the ABU fellowship.

In the meantime here is a great list of 'no-no's' sourced from the Dub Dot Dash blog.

9 things to NOT do when emailing music blogs 

1. Add Bloggers to Your Mailing List Without Giving Them a Heads Up
I don’t know who you are, yet I’m suddenly on your mailing list and there’s no unsubscribe button. At least send an email to let me know you think I’ll like the music you plan on blasting out. It’s even worse when the email blast says things like “this song is different than what you heard last time“. “Last time”? I don’t even know who you are.

2. Buy Lists of Email Addresses

People compile lists of blog addresses they found on the internet and then sell them. To me, buying these lists is almost as shady as buying followers. Someone added my contact email to some Australian blog list, and now I get a ton of emails inviting me to shows in Australia. I’ve never even been to Australia. [I get this a lot -don't invite me to your showcase in London/New York/Austin without checking my location!]

3. CC Your Email Blasts

If you’re sending a press release to a bunch of blogs and CC all of us, I can see everyone else you sent the email to. BCC us. Otherwise, I’m going to look at the lists of email addresses and see what types of sites you grouped me with. If I don’t like them, I probably won’t listen to your music.

4. Write Excessively Long Subject Lines
When you’re writing a subject line for your email remember that anything beyond 11 words will probably be cut off in the inbox view.

5. Get the Blogger’s Name Wrong

If you’re cutting and pasting the body of the email into new messages and personalizing it, be sure and proofread. You might have forgotten to change the name of the blogger or the title of the blog. It’s not always the end of the world, but it could prevent you from getting your foot in the door.

6. Only Send Links to Music
There’s a link to a SoundCloud track in this email, but that’s it. Why should I click this? Who are you? You don’t have to send an entire bio, but at least say hello and tell me what this link is.

7. Be Overly Casual
I know this isn’t a job application or the New York Times, you can keep it casual when you send an email pitch to a blog. However, there is such a thing as being TOO casual, especially if you have no prior relationship with the blogger. Don’t unnecessarily throw in words like “shit” and “whatever”, it’s distracting. “I like to sample my guitar recordings as if they’re someone else’s records or whatever”“producing shit on my computer”

8. Lie About How Much You Love the Blog
Bloggers can tell when you’re lying about being a devoted follower of their blog. “I’ve been following your blog, it’s great” is often followed by a link to music that sounds nothing like what I post. If you’re not going to do your research then don’t lie about it. If you really do like a blog, specify what you like about it.

9. Spam Bloggers 

One producer has everybody on his team emailing me every time he puts out a new remix, which is every week. I get four emails about the same song every week. I don’t even remember what this guy’s music sounds like, but I don’t like it. It’s okay to follow up a few times, but don’t be excessive."

Peas,
The Mighty Mic Master Reepz