Closed Caption Craziness: Wild Style on Amazon Prime Video

"Mamacita rock your nuts..."

As the title suggests, Wild Style is available to watch on Amazon Prime Video at the moment (free with Prime).
I thought I'd give it a go seeing as it had been a while since I last watched it all the way through. But something struck me. I watched it with subtitles on and it soon became clear to me that whoever's job it was to do them clearly had no clue what Wild Style, or even hip-hop culture and history, was about.
I hereby present to you the frankly odd utterings and bizarre translations of an Amazon employee who probably didn't understand the wholly historical importance of the task they had been given.

THE REALNESS - "Crime does not pay"

Here we go and already things have taken a strange turn. The opening credits have just run and we're about to get back to the action. Fab 5 Freddy oversaw the soundtrack although I don't recall any stories of him inserting subliminal voices into the songs attesting to his greatness.

 THE REALNESS -"..because 'MC' stands for Mic Control.."

Eh? Why would you run from mic control? It doesn't even make sense! Then again perhaps if you'd never grasped the basics of holding and using a microphone onstage then you might have a wobble.

THE REALNESS - "And like, Mickey Mouse, the Son of Sam"

Equating New York City's 1970s serial killer, David Berkowitz aka the Son of Sam to Looney Tunes' cuddly, rootin'-tootin', diminutive, firebrand, Yosemite Sam is a bit of a reach if you ask me. Although in retrospect he was rather handy with his six-shooter so who knows what he did after filming had finished at the studio. It's a lonely life in the movie business. Restless nights, sick of all the neverending fans all wanting a piece of you. I wouldn't blame him.

THE REALNESS - "Chief Rocker Busy Bee"

 *Sigh*.

 THE REALNESS - "And the way I shock the house for the young ladies"

*SPLUTTER!!* Without even addressing the intricacies of the differences between language on both sides of 'the pond' this just looks so, so wrong.
However if you recall, they are on their way to the hotel in the Limo and we know that shenanigans are to be had (that's if Mr Bee can stop spelling out bleedin' B's with his dollar bills all over the bed first) so maybe this delicate sexual practice is on the cards.

Lucky Lisa Lee, says I.

 THE REALNESS - errrrrrr?

This one requires VAR or somesuch as I'm not entirely sure if this is the proper line or not. Until now I always thought it was, "and I'll dog your face".
Upon looking at what I've just typed I'm feeling quite sheepish now.

 THE REALNESS - "Now just get on the mic and take command"

Dota Rock (RIP), who introduces the next in line, Ruby D, seems to think he's in The Blue Oyster rather than at The Dixie.

 THE REALNESS - "And if you wanna know why they call me Whip"

"Whimp"? Pretty bold insult to throw around especially as KRS-One once remarked back in the days when he wasn't sticking up for alleged kiddie-fiddlers, if you pop that junk up in the Bronx you might not live.
This subtitle mishap is doubly confusing as the text "Whipper Whip" has been used correctly otherwise all throughout the song so why suddenly change tact now?

 THE REALNESS - "All the def MCs, Double Trouble..."

This switcheroo actually helps to convey the greatness and splendid rhyming skills of all the performers who are about to appear at the Ampitheater at the end of the movie. Freddy is busy handing out flyers to the neighbourhood kids (albeit the ones still able to walk or breathe after being crushed by the impromptu crowd who pushed Patti A's broken down car) doing his hard sell patter.
Good work, Subtitle fella!

 THE REALNESS - "I'm MC Dota Rock, sho 'nuff, sureshot"

Well, peel my tangerines! Just as we were on the up, SubtitleFella throws this into the mix.
We have now arrived at the Ampitheater Jam and the Fantastic Five are bounding up to begin their set on the stage. Dota Rock throws down first with a bit of braggadocio rap which has confused the hell out of Subtitling Simon.

 THE REALNESS - "Ruby D is my name and you can't deny"

 THE REALNESS - "That I'm slick as a ... but all the way live"

Another one that I'm not 100% sure of but I'm willing to put money on the fact that it's not "prick". 'Prince', maybe?

 THE REALNESS - "Just rockin' the house, can you realise?"

This could be a valiant attempt by Ruby D in trying to sort the crowd back into nice, uniform lines after they've been bouncing around all boisterous-like and got themselves all out of kilter.

And so we reach the end of the film. Roll credits. By now the work experience lad in Amazon’s Subtitles Dept really could not give one more hoot as it’s Friday afternoon and he's on a promise with Dirty Debs in Wetherspoons later on.

Wild Style. The film that keeps on giving.

Peace,
Repo

If you have Amazon's Prime Video service then try this link to watch the film yourself:
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Wild-Style-Lee-Quinones/dp/B07V6ZSLHX/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=wild+style&qid=1580126098&s=instant-video&sr=1-1