Friday, 9 September 2016

Hip Hop Rap Attack - The Telmak Mixtape

Remember those mostly well-meaning but ultimately crappy compilations that hit the High Streets in the early 80s to cash in on the new breakdancing craze?
Remember how they used their in-house artists to recreate popular songs of the time such as Rockit? Or the legendary Alex And The City Crew? K-Tel's classic "Electric Breakdance"?
Can you believe that an even better* series of albums exists? Search the name 'Telmak' and you'll find some truly unique songs.
Relive those great memories with this from Dayle Dickson. The version of The Message is brilliant* and worth the admission price alone with its' surreal lyrical adaptation and crazy MC. And the utterly hilarious versions of It's All In Mr Magic's Wand as well as Buffalo Gals. 

You honestly couldn't write this.
And neither could these 'artists' either - their lyrical substitutions for misheard words are priceless.

*It's not.


Anonymous said...

I couldn't decide if the vocalist was either hard of hearing or Dutch. Probably both. Factor in the glaringly obvious issue that English may not be his first langauge. I'm assuming it's the same fella providing the 'Raps' on most of the tracks here.

Not since the likes of 'MC Miker G and DJ Sven' have I heard such a cacophony of misheard, mis-interpreted and generally misunderstood lyrics. In fact, the performances on this mix make them seem like Percee P and Rakim in comparison.
The lyrical mastery of 'Magic's Wand' is hilarious...

The Magic's wind on the radio,
And everybody said who'd way to go,
Da marders wear on de air,
He was plain to see a new face was here,
He started out playing out mostly rap,
And they all said nobodys into that,
Well, we all turned off to be wrong,
So let me hold a mic and call my schwong,
Sumsill say sat not watsappin,
When the robbers delight went triple platinum,
Da record world was in for smash,
Dooby here for da smulcher Grandmaster Pash,
Chonly Steebie Wonder Tinnie Marie,
They even made a rapper out of me,
Den no towb at all a tar was born,
And kicking on the tarb to dis magic swan.

Fuckin' genius, unintentional comedy gold. It's funny the way he can correctly interprete some lines and others he just gives zero fucks for effort.
I really should transcribe all of the lyrics on this mix for posterity one of these days.

Blood Of Iron. X

Repo said...

You, sir, have just set me off again.

I await a full album transcription on my desk by 9am tomorrow.

Anonymous said...

I'll certainly put it on my list of things to do, Mr. Repo, sir.

Keep up the good work, and keep fighting the good fight. So many dope blogs have been consigned to nothing but a fleeting memory. I'm glad, nay grateful,
that ABU is still around.

The Iron Blooded One.

Repo said...

We're not going anywhere any time soon. I'm sure it's coming up to our 10-year anniversary in 2017 and I've already ordered the cake.

One love.
By Any Means Necessary.
Ya Dig.
Sho Nuff.

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